Rob Lively retired after 28 years of military service, as the Command Sergeant Major of a Special Missions Unit within The United States Army Special Operations Command at Fort Bragg, North Carolina.
Memorial Day, by definition, is a federal holiday designated on the last Monday in May to honor those who have died serving our Armed Forces. The unofficial first Day of summer. It began as Decoration Day after the American Civil War and later became Memorial Day during the 20thcentury. Contrary to what many Americans believe, it is not Veterans Day. Memorial Day is a day where we remember and honor only our fallen and it is our responsibility as Americans to do just that.
What does that mean in this 21st century and after almost two decades of continuous war, conflict and counter terror operations? As a husband, father, son, brother, combat veteran and someone who has stood many times at Arlington. Here is what Memorial Day means to me.
It is a day that is only slightly different than most other days. You see in my community in North Carolina we remember and honor our fallen all year long. I remember when I see one of our Gold Star Spouses at the post office or the coffee shop. I remember when I pass Fernandez Lane named after a great warrior. I honor and remember when we serve a Gold Star Spouse by helping her get her yard cleaned up or her gutters cleared. I am humbled when I stand by one of the many Memorial Walls at our different headquarters or at the Special Operations Museum in Fayetteville. I do what a Gold Star Spouse once asked of us all. Say their names and tell their stories so we know that you have not forgotten them.
I remember during the many times I stop by Arlington throughout the year to see an old friend. Yes, there is extra emphasis on Memorial Day. Yes we intentionally gather for ceremonies, stories and barbeques. But let me be perfectly clear when I stress this point. Memorial Day is no longer about just the one day and it is no longer about just the Armed Services. Memorial Day is woven into the fabrics of all of our lives. The Armed Services, the Intelligence Services, The State Department, The FBI and the whole of United States Government Agencies that combine forces every single day to serve and fight so that no one flies a plane into a tower in this great country ever again. Memorial Day has changed for all of us.
Please let me share with you what I have struggled with over the years. What would our fallen mates have us do on this day? They know our daily lives. They know our fight. They live among us and know that we will never forget them. So what would they have us do on this day? I knew so many of them in this life and since they cannot answer that question for themselves I will attempt to do that for them.
They would tell us to take the time to gather but don’t cry for them. They would say they were where they wanted to be doing what they lived to do. They were honored to be the protectors of the protected. They would tell us to console their families and to hug their children. To love and respect each other. To live well and take care of each other. They would remind us how very precious yet short life can be in this line of work. They would tell us to fire up the grill and enjoy a toast of fine whiskey on their behalf. Lastly they would tell us to do what they cannot. Be with your family and friends, hug your children and use the word “Love” often. They would tell us to end the day well and get a good night’s rest. America will need defended again on Tuesday. To those deployed and in the fight on this Memorial Day they would say fight hard, stay safe and thank you for manning your post my good friend.
God Bless America, God Bless our Fallen and may God Bless us all.
Read more from Rob Lively in The Cipher Brief...
