Dead Drop: October 15

CHOOSY SPIES CHOSE JIF:  By now everyone has heard the story that broke over the weekend about the arrest of Jonathan Toebbe, a Navy civilian nuclear engineer, and his wife Diana on charges of what amounts to attempted espionage.  While neither of the Toebbe’s has entered a plea in the case yet, we commend to you the 24-page Department of Justice court filing which provides delicious detail on the FBI’S case.  It’s a case that’s sparked hundreds of questions – and thousands of jokes.  While treason is never a joking matter, accusations of failed treason makes goofing palatable. Among the serious questions in this case – for whom did the Toebbe’s think they were spying?  The charge sheet says that in December 2020, the FBI’s attaché in “COUNTRY 1” obtained a package that representatives from that country received in April of that year from an unidentified person attempting to establish a covert relationship and pass “restricted data.” So, did COUNTRY 1 knowingly turn in Toebbe? Or did the USG steal the info from them? It appears there was cooperation – since the DOJ filing says that the FBI apparently complied with Toebbe’s request to fly a signal flag from the receiving country’s “main building” in Washington, DC. It is alleged that Toebbe engaged in a series of communications with folks he THOUGHT were from COUNTRY 1 but were actually FBI personnel. In the end, a lot of crypto currency was exchanged for classified information that was provided via dead drop (not this one) hidden on a memory card – inside a peanut butter sandwich.  This launched the thousand jokes — ranging from the PB sandwich leaving Toebee in a “jam,” to questions about whether inserting memory cards makes the peanut butter “crunchy” and references to the drop being a “submarine sandwich.”

WHAT’S IN A NAME?  Last year, lawmakers in Washington ordered that the names of at least ten Army posts be changed since they honored people who fought against the U.S. on behalf of the Confederacy.  Former President Donald Trump vetoed the move, but his veto was overridden by Congress. A commission was set up to listen to suggestions for alternative names and hear local opinions.  As is the case with almost everything these days, the action stirred up heated reactions on all sides.  Retired Admiral Michelle Howard, who is heading up the commission, diplomatically says that some of the suggestions on a website set up to collect new names are “quite intense.”  One pundit suggested, given the nation’s budgetary mess, that the naming rights for bases should be sold to corporations just like naming rights for sports arenas and stadiums.  That notion appealed to us for a minute until we reflected on the confusion caused at some venues, like the football stadium in Miami that has had eight different names…or the ballpark in Houston that was once labeled: “ENRON Field.”