KREMLIN NOT PUTIN’ UP WITH RUMORS ABOUT VLAD: There is a school of thought that you should not believe any news coming out of Russia until the Kremlin denies it. While often true, it is probably not an iron-clad rule. Testing the theory recently, a well-known Russian Telegram channel called “General SVR” which claims to be the work of a former Russian intelligence officer, circulated a report that Vladimir Putin had died and had been replaced by a body double. We’d heard lots of body double stories before (and even helped spread a few)– but generally the theory was that the Kremlin just kept a spare Putin around for security purposes but not that Putin was – well, dead. But as the New York Post tells it, General SVR says Putin died of cardiac arrest at his residence in Valdai (about 250 miles from Moscow) and that his corpse had been placed in a freezer and a body double was rolled out to give the impression of continuity while mysterious forces behind the throne were playing ‘Weekend at Bernie’s.’ The rumor got enough bounce that Kremlin spokesman, Dmitry Peskov, had to knock it down, releasing photos of Putin (or someone they said was Putin) and saying the rumors were an “absurd information fake.”
NOT A LAUGHING MATTER: This seems like an appropriate point to mention a recent Reuters story that laments the sad state of affairs of Russian comedians who are struggling to keep their material topical without running afoul of sensitivities by joking about how things are going in Russia’s ‘Special Military Activity’, known more popularly as the war in Ukraine. Many of those comedians who want to get topical – elect to leave the country first. That has the advantage of avoiding arrest and conscription. A female comedian who was fined last year for “discrediting” the army in a social media post, has now moved to the former Soviet Republic of Georgia where she is free to tell Putin jokes. For example, at a recent performance she said she "… just saw the stats that 60% of all women in Russia have had at least one erotic dream about Putin," adding: "Think about it - 60%. Even there, he rigged the poll!"
42 IS THE NEW 18: The U.S. Air Force and Space Force are going to unprecedented lengths to find new recruits. Under new rules, they have authorized recruiters to sign up candidates who are long in the tooth. The new policy says that applicants can enlist at ages up to 42. Previously, only those under 39 were eligible to reach for the stars. Why 42? Apparently, the calculation is that you could sign on at that age and still do a full twenty years of service before hitting the retirement age of 62. It is likely no coincidence that the loosened age limits came into effect right after the Air Force failed to meet their active-duty enlistment targets for the first time since 1999. Looked at another way – most of the people enlisting now were not alive the last time the Air Force missed its goals (and of course, the Space Force wasn’t even a gleam in its daddy’s eye back then, either.) But now the services can bring in boots old enough to recall Y2K.
N-C-AYE-YI-YI: We’ve been seeing a lot of ads lately promoting a new version of the long-time TV series franchise ‘NCIS.’ The new version is branded ‘NCIS Sydney’ (the one in Australia.) That got us wondering – just how many of these NCIS series are there? Turns out, a ton. The original NCIS has been on for 20 seasons. Then there was ‘NCIS Los Angeles’ – which was on for 14 seasons and was just put out to pasture earlier this year. And there was ‘NCIS New Orleans’ which aired for seven seasons and ended in 2021. Oh, and don’t forget ‘NCIS Hawaii’ which has been on for two seasons and is still going strong. By our count (with the assistance of IMDB) we calculated that the five series combined have amassed more than 980 episodes. We suspect that the NCIS series have probably made more arrests than the real-world NCIS has in its 30+ history. (The organization goes back to the 1800’s but got its current name in 1992.) And then another question came to mind – what do the other military service equivalents have to do to get some respect? Have there been any TV series about the Army Criminal Investigations Division (CID) or Air Force Office of Special Investigations (AFOSI)? If so, we can’t find them. Don’t they have criminals to chase in those services too?
SOME NEW THINGS UNDER THE SUN IN THE IC: Former senior CIA officer John Atwell now calls the island of Hawaii home. We hear he’s spending some time writing about intelligence issues for the Hawaii Tribune Herald and has a Substack publication called ‘The Island Intelligencer.’ Earlier this week, he nicely summarized some of the major trends in the world’s second oldest profession. Among them – cyberespionage and the new career track of Cyber Operations Officer at CIA (being led at the Agency by his former boss and Cipher Brief fave – Jennifer Ewbank), the growth industry of open source intelligence, hot-topic of the week artificial intelligence, deep fakes, biometrics and quantum cryptography. Atwell is also the editor of the Weekly Intelligence Notes section in the Association of Former Intelligence Officers online magazine, so we know he is keeping on top of new “INTS” news while taking in the sun in the isles.
THE PENTAGON MUST BE GETTING SERIOUS ABOUT UFOS: Bureaucracies are good at paying lip service to hot button topics – but we sense that the Department of Defense is really starting to focus on “Unidentified Aerial Phenomena” which everyone else on the planet calls “UFOs.” How can we tell? The Pentagon has created a form to report close encounters of a spooky kind. DOD’s All-Domain Anomaly Resolution Office (AARO) is targeting current or former U.S. government employees, service members, or contractors and allowing them to report UAP incidents going back to 1945. If you spotted a UFO in 1944 – we guess you are out of luck. Don’t play around and submit a form for fun, though, since it carries a warning that false reporting can result in a fine, imprisonment or both. The AARO head (see what we did there?) Sean Kirkpatrick told reporters that he hasn’t seen any evidence of the U.S. government reverse engineering or messing around with actual UFOs. Of course, if YOU have, and you worked for the government now or in the last 78 years, let him know. There’s a form for that.
POCKET LITTER: Dead Droplets and bits and pieces of interesting /weird stuff we discovered:
EX-MANAGER OF THE YEAR: The ability to conduct staff meetings remotely using video conferencing has been largely a blessing to organizations around the country and the world. But with every advancement in technology, there comes an occasional glitch and risk. For an example of what might go wrong look no further than Edward Fuenmayor, who was an assistant veterans’ service center manager for the Veterans Administration in Phoenix, AZ. We say “was” an assistant manager because, according to NBC, during a recent virtual town hall meeting with over 200 people participating using Microsoft Teams, Fuenmayor thought he was on mute and was doing color commentary on some of the questions asked by Call Center employees. He called his colleagues “idiots” and said they were asking “stupid questions.” Fuenmayor punctuated his commentary with a lot of cursing and to make matters much worse – he also was unaware that his camera was on – a situation that became especially problematic since he was not wearing pants at the time. More than a little embarrassed (we assume), he has apologized and has been reassigned.
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