VLAD’S BAD LIST: Late last week, the Russian Ministry of Foreign Affairs released a list of 963 Americans who they were sanctioning by banning them from ever visiting Russia. Gosh, that’s gotta hurt. We are grateful to the folks at the Hayden Center who laboriously went through the list to examine who from the national security community made the cut – and who did not. Somewhat surprisingly, the Hayden Center founder and namesake – General Mike Hayden (who is also a Cipher Brief Expert) was not on the list. Five other former CIA directors who followed Hayden in that role did. (For those of you keeping score at home, they are: Leon Panetta, John Brennan, Mike Pompeo, Gina Haspel and current director, Bill Burns. The only one in that era not to make the list was General David Petraeus (another Cipher Brief Expert). The current CIA Deputy, David Cohen, and former deputy, Michael Morell are also going to have to adjust their Siberian vacation plans. John Rizzo, the long-time, well-respected CIA lawyer made the list, despite having died in August 2021. Current DNI, Avril Haines was sanctioned along with a couple of her predecessors, James Clapper (yep, you guessed it, a Cipher Brief Expert) and Dan Coats. Several current and former DIA officials were on the “not a pal of Putin” list, NSA chief General Paul Nakasone. The FBI was recognized by the presence of current director Chris Wray, former director Robert Mueller and several others. It’s a mystery to us how the Russians decided who made the list and who didn’t. Some officials, who have been harshly critical of the Putin regime, were disappointed not to be on it. For example, after the list came out, former NATO Supreme Allied Commander, retired Navy Admiral James Stavridis (a TCB Expert, too) promised to try harder to say even more negative things about Putin in hopes of earning a spot the next time around. For the record, they’re all good enough for ‘our’ list.
TIPTOE THROUGH THE TULIPS: Russian military reporter Aleksandr “Sasha” Kots is probably mortified, if a story in Forbes is on target. It seems Kots, who travels with the invading Russian army in Ukraine, recently filed some video of a super-sized 2S4 Tyulpan (Tulip) 240 millimeter self-propelled mortar which can chuck 288 pound shells as far as six miles. Lighter shells, some with cluster bomblets, can reach a range of 12 miles. It seems Sasha’s cheerful report regarding the damage the Tulips were raining down on Ukraine – may -and we stress *may* have enabled the Ukrainians to precisely geolocate the unit Sasha was touting. A drone apparently located the weapon and the Ukrainians released video of the massive explosion that followed their targeting the Tulip. If true, Sasha is giving a bad name to media embeds with the military.
“M-I’S” MIS-IDENTIFIED: The New York Times published a story over the weekend about how the BBC won a court battle allowing them to publish a story about an agent for Britain’s domestic security agency, known as MI-5, who was reportedly involved with right-wing extremism. The allegation was that he used his intelligence position to terrorize multiple former romantic partners. Her Majesty’s government tried to prevent the Beeb from airing the report, citing national security concerns. But the broadcaster won the legal battle – although they are only allowed to refer to the person (who they identify as a foreign citizen) as “X.” The original Times story contained a prominent photo (seen here in this tweet) that was identified as MI-5 Headquarters. But it wasn’t. The Times updated the story with a correction noting that the building they originally showed was actually MI-6 headquarters, not MI-5. The newspaper blamed an unnamed news agency for providing them with inaccurate information. Apparently, MI-6 fans were unhappy with the mix up. It would be like an FBI story being illustrated with a photo of CIA HQ instead of the J. Edgar Hoover Building. And we know what a scandal that would be…
IT CAN HAPPEN IN THE WORST OF FAMILIES: Well, this is a bit inconvenient. The German newspaper Der Spiegel and other media outlets reported late last week that Vladimir Putin’s youngest “confirmed” daughter Katerina Tikhonova, has been getting up close and personal with a former Bavarian State Ballet director – whose last name is Zelensky. Sound familiar? Tikonova is reportedly 35 years old and a divorcee. The reporting indicates that she and Herr Zelensky regularly travel together in the company of a toddler. So, if true, would that mean that Putin’s granddaughter’s last name is Zelensky? Wouldn’t it be fun to trace that family tree? Note: we said Katerina is the youngest “confirmed” Vlad daughter because he is widely reported to be consorting with Alina Kabaeva, a former Russian gymnast, who is about 40 years his junior. Vlad and Alina are said to have produced an unknown number of off-spring as well. Man, those Putin family reunions have got to be confusing.
YOU THINK VACCINATIONS HURT? What really might hurt is not getting them. At least that may be the case for three U.S. Air Force Academy cadets who refused the COVID jabs. AP reports that the three naysayers will not receive their commissions if they choose to remain unvaccinated. They will receive their bachelor's degrees – but here is the tricky part: since they won’t have a shot to repay taxpayers with years of military service – there is a chance that the three will be required to reimburse the government for the cost of their education – which could amount to as much as $200,000 each. The Secretary of the Air Force will get to decide whether to stick them with the bill.
POCKET LITTER: Dead Droplets and bits and pieces of interesting /weird stuff we discovered:
HATE TO BREAK THIS TO YOU BUT…. Task & Purpose said that the Dover, Delaware Police Department took to Facebook last week to report: “We can’t believe we have to say this, but please do not call the police department or 911 about jet noise from the Thunder Over Dover air show.” Sounds like it was a great air show with both the USAF Thunderbirds and the USN Blue Angels performing. But the DOVER PD had to remind locals: “You live in Dover…there’s an Air Force Base here.”
NO MORE CUTTING CORNERS: You know those tight formations the Thunderbirds fly in? Well, that is nothing compared to the precision in a new draft Air Force regulation that has leaked. Air Force Magazine says the service is considering allowing airmen to sport somewhat lusher lip fuzz. But, according to regulations under consideration, USAF personnel may soon be allowed to have bigger mustaches so long as the growth does not extend below the lip line of the upper lip, doesn’t extend beyond a horizontal line extending from the corners of the mouth, and stays within vertical lines 1/4 of an inch from the corners of the mouth. Exactly who is going to do the measuring, is unclear.
QUIT TOYING WITH US: It seems about every week we warn Ukrainian friends, fans, and followers to quit making up stuff that they want to be true. Maybe this one IS true – but we have become so jaded that we doubt it. Ukraine’s defense intelligence chief, Maj. Gen Kyrlo Budanov, reportedly told “Pravda Ukraine” that “Putin was assassinated.” But the statement must have lost something in translation because Budanov went on to say that the attempt was unsuccessful. But wait it gets worse – Mediate.com went on to report that “if true” this would mean there have been “at least six” attempts on Putin’s life. Wait what? They cite filmmaker Oliver Stone as their source, saying that Vlad has survived at least five previous assassination attempts. Yeah, there was that one on the Grassy Knoll in Dallas…and…well, we forget the rest.
YOU’RE KILLING US WITH THE TIPS YOU ARE WITHHOLDING: Did Oliver Stone let you in on some inside dope on mass mayhem? Don’t you feel the need to share it with Pravda Dead Drop? Drop us a line at TheDeadDrop@theCipherBrief.com.
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