Dead Drop: June 17

BUZZ KILL:  Remember all those stories about multiple incidents of mysterious swarms of small aerial vehicles that enveloped some U.S. Navy ships off Southern California in 2019? There was a lot of speculation that they might be an infestation of extraterrestrial aliens checking out the fleet.  Well, not quite.  The website TheDrive.com launched a FOIA request aimed at the Pentagon and got their hands on documents that indicate the mysterious objects were drones that were launched from an unresponsive Hong Kong-based civilian ship called the MV Bass Strait. TheDrive’s story includes Navy deck logs, photos, emails, and power point charts. The documents say some of the drones reached altitudes of 21,000 feet above sea level.  Others came within 200 yards of Navy ships. A Navy briefing slide stated that the Navy assessed that the commercial cargo ship was likely conducting surveillance on Navy vessels using drones, or unidentified aerial vehicles (UAVs). A draft public affairs statement characterized the behavior of the drones as dangerous and not in accordance with the “rules of the road” or “internationally recognized maritime customs.” Bottom line – not nice – but not aliens.

TALK ABOUT A CRAPPY JOB:  Merde! It was a scoop first reported in Paris Match but was quickly picked up by the New York Post.  The tabloid was in its element rolling out puns and bathroom humor about how (allegedly) when Vladimir Putin travels aboard, his elite FSB has the unenviable task of boxing up their number one’s number twos.  According to the report the Federal Protection Service agents are charged with collecting Putin’s poop and putting it into special briefcases for repatriation to Mother Russia. Maybe they should be rebranded as “Fecal Protection Service.” Apparently, this is not a new phenomenon but a long-standing practice of making sure Vlad’s output doesn’t fall into the hands of foreign intelligence services who might analyze it and learn his health secrets – or something. Putin’s shaky health has been the subject of lots of scrutiny of late.  In another story this week, the British tabloid the Daily Express posted video of Putin at a Kremlin ceremony giving an award to a Russian filmmaker. The video shows Putin standing at a lectern with his legs undulating oddly back and forth. It could be a sign of some neurological issue – either that or he just needs that FSB briefcase — right away.