FOUR MORE YEARS OF SALTY GOSSIP: While the Dead Drop plays no political favorites, we’d be lying if we said the gossip business isn’t booming since President Trump took office in late January. Perhaps things were just too boring under former President Biden but not anymore. Our open source sleuthing tradecraft has tee’d up some pretty interesting nuggets this week.
MUSK VS. FEDERAL WORKERS: Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you already know that the Office of Personnel Management sent an email last weekend telling federal employees that they had until 11:59 PM Monday night to email a list of five things they did the week prior. That was round one. Round two was when Elon Musk weighed in to say that failure to do so would amount to an assumed resignation. Round three came as the heads of various departments told their employees that they shouldn’t feel obliged to comply. Then, round four as Musk tweeted, (cause what’s wrong with using your personal social media account to communicate this stuff anyway) “Subject to the discretion of the President, they will be given another chance. Failure to respond a second time will result in termination.” Round six came later in the week when President Trump sort of said it was not ‘mandatory’ that employees respond to the OPM email – but if you don’t …you’re fired. And then, at his Cabinet meeting on Wednesday, the president delivered what might be the final blow, saying federal employees who don’t respond to the email are “on the bubble.” Far be it from us to have an opinion or anything, but seems like the U.S. Government might benefit from a more efficient (and according to some Republican Senators, more compassionate) DOGE.
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IC AN UNDERCOVER PROBLEM HERE: We hear the pucker factor was especially high within the Intelligence Community (IC) since many of the employees were expected to enter the mandatory essay contest not writing about the outfit for which they really work – but about somewhere else (like the State Department) for which they may want the world to think they work. This came on top of an earlier issue where the CIA was required to send OMB a list of probationary employees (like those hired in the past two years). And while that list (which was sent unclassified) contained only first names and last initials – it would not be hard for a good foreign intelligence service to reverse engineer it – and uncover a lot of spooks. Some within the CIA are concerned that the list could potentially ‘out’ not only some of the probationary employees – but also others who came before them who may have shared similar cover. For more on why DOGE is posing a bit of a cybersecurity nightmare, check out our expert Q&A with Rear Adm. (Ret.) Mark Montgomery.
THAT’S NOT FUNNY: CNN also reported that officials at CIA are concerned that intelligence officers who are summarily shown the door might be so upset – that they could offer their recently gained classified knowledge to the highest bidding foreign intelligence service. Now, we’re not so sure about that given that most of the workforce seems to be rather invested in U.S. national security and all but DNI Tulsi Gabbard was really not amused with the notion, telling Fox News that CNN was little more than a “propaganda arm” of the CIA and suggesting that CNN’s sources were “exposing themselves.”
GENERAL CONFUSION: Among the (many) other flaps since the last edition of The Dead Drop was the “Friday Night Massacre” where the President and Secretary of Defense announced the firing of several senior uniformed officials including the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General C.Q. Brown, the Chief of Naval Operations, Admiral Lisa Franchetti, the Vice Chief of the Air Force, General Jim Slife, and the senior Judge Advocate Generals of the Army, Navy and Air Force. This generated a lot of controversy – at least until it was overtaken by new controversies. “What’s the big deal,” defenders of the administration asked? Presidents have been firing flag officers for hundreds of years – and some asked where was the outrage when President Obama fired “197” top officers. If you don’t remember that – it’s probably because it’s an urban myth tied to a list of senior officers (many not of flag rank) who were relieved of duty during the Obama presidency. The decision to axe most of them was made at a much lower level – and often followed specific wrong doing like: going on a drunken bender in Moscow, or getting caught trying to use counterfeit gambling chips in a casino. The folks fired so far in the first few weeks of this administration seem to be guilty of giving their views on the roles of women and minorities in uniform – and following the policies out in place by the last administration. Beyond the six flags canned Friday – we heard of another, little reported, axing. The senior military assistant to the Secretary of Defense, Air Force LTGEN Jennifer Short was also reportedly sent packing. The “SMA” position is often filled with rising stars in the flag ranks with people like then-three star general Colin Powell having filled it in the past. Short, was an A-10 pilot with more than 1800 flight hours and more than 430 combat hours (more than CQ Brown and his designated successor, LTGEN Dan Caine, combined.) No word on what she did to merit reassignment. DOD officials seemed to skirt the question.
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I FOUGHT THE LAW AND THE LAW LOST: Among the interesting/confusing things about the firing squad at the Pentagon was the decision to axe the three service JAGS. The three officers fired did not even get their names mentioned in the official announcement from DOD. They were just fired by title. Perhaps those who fired them hadn’t learned their names yet. But a few days after the JAG defenestration, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth said they were removed so that they would not create any “roadblocks to orders that are given by a commander in chief.” When removing the three, DOD said nominations for successors are being solicited. So, if you are a military JAG and looking for upward mobility, you may find it advantageous to adopt a loose interpretation to some of those pesky – you know, laws.
GRANDDAD WAS A SPY: Here is another one we didn’t see coming. You’ve likely heard of the 19-year-old whiz kid working for Elon Musk’s DOGE, Edward Coristine, who reportedly likes to call himself “Big Balls.” Young Mr. Coristine has made quite a name for himself (beyond his self-selected appellation) and had setting up a company called Tesla.Sexy LLC that Wired says “controls dozens of web domains, including at least two Russian-registered domains. One of those domains, which is still active, offers a service called Helfie, which is an AI bot for Discord servers targeting the Russian market.” But wait – there’s more. According to freelance journalist and podcaster Jacob Silverman, the youngster’s grandfather was Valery Fedorovich Martynov, a KGB officer who was recruited to spy for the U.S. by the FBI while stationed at the Soviet embassy in Washington. Silverman has a long post about Martynov’s actions. His traitorous actions were eventually discovered by his Russian masters – he was lured back to Moscow – arrested and executed in 1987. After the fall of the Soviet Union – his widow and two children eventually resettled in the U.S. The daughter eventually married and her son – turned out to be Edward Coristine. We suspect granddad might have been the one more appropriately named “Big Balls.”
FROM FIVE EYES TO BLIND EYES – Poor Canada. Not only is President Trump toying with the idea of turning our neighbors to the north into the 51st state, but he’s also dangling 25% tariffs over their heads. You’d think that might be bad enough, but a piece in the Financial Times cites unidentified sources “familiar with the situation” saying that White House Advisor Peter Navarro wants to kick Canada out of the Five Eyes intelligence sharing alliance. You probably already know that the Five Eyes is a close-knit group of trusted intelligence services that share information on threats (cause five eyes are better than one, right?). It’s a coveted group that other U.S. allies (like Japan) would love to get in to, so the idea of kicking Canada out sounds a little short-sighted (pun intended) if you ask us. We guess that’s why it’s a good thing that Navarro (who served time last year on contempt of Congress charges for not telling what he knew about the Jan. 6, 2021 attack, and who now serves as the president’s senior counselor for trade and manufacturing) denies the charge. “We would never, ever jeopardize our national security, ever, with allies like Canada, ever,” he said, according to The Hill. Whew. Because that would be like turning a blind eye to what a great ally Canada has been to the U.S. over the years and would cut off a critical intelligence sharing function that helps keep Americans safe and well, how dumb would that be?
ROLLING OUT THE RED CARPET — King Charles is inviting President Trump for a state visit, marking the first time in modern history the British monarch has hosted an American president for two state visits, according to Reuters. Why would the Brits be rolling out the red carpet when things between the allies are uh - rather tense - over the whole ending the war in Ukraine thing and leaving Europe out of crucial talks? Perhaps the Brits see Trump’s pivot toward Russia as so dangerous that they're pulling out the biggest gun of all and launching a straight up charm offensive. Their intel might not be bad. As Trump-watchers know, the president is fascinated with the British crown, a legacy of his mother Mary Anne MacLeod, a Scottish national who immigrated to New York City in 1930. The president recounted in his book The Art of the Deal how when he was just six-years-old, his mother watched Queen Elizabeth’s coronation on the family television. “My mother loved the Queen,” Trump told the British tabloid The Sun in 2018. "Any time the Queen was on television, my mother wanted to watch it.” Trump added, "She is a tremendous woman.” Maybe the British charm offensive will make Trump reconsider rolling out the red carpet himself and inviting European leaders to the negotiating table.
NOT TO BE OUTDONE, REPUBLICANS ROLL OUT THE CHARM OFFENSIVE AT HOME, TOO: Just in case the president needs more proof of how much Republicans love him, New York magazine reports on the most sychophantic things Republicans are doing to flatter the president and hey, they’re a lot better than the red carpet. For example, New York representative Claudia Tenney introduced legislation to make the president’s birthday a federal holiday. (And with a lot less federal workers to contend with, that should make it a little more efficient for the U.S. taxpayer). Florida representative Anna Paulina Luna suggested legislation last month to add the president’s face to those carved into rock at Mt. Rushmore. The magazine also reports that Representative Buddy Carter wasn’t to change the name of Greenland to Red, White and Blueland and the one that pretty much all of us saw coming was Representative Andy Ogles’ filed a resolution to amend the constitution so that the president could serve another term and wouldn’t be barred from doing so by the current amendment allowing president’s to only serve two terms.
POCKET LITTER: Dead Droplets and bits and pieces of interesting /weird stuff we discovered:
DON’T ASK US WHY: But the folks at “The Spy Collection” used a “combination of traditional songwriting methods and generative AI technologies” to create a music video “inspired by FISA Section 702 and NSA’s PRISM” program. We have to say that this is a rather unique approach to educating people about why these programs are so important when it comes to U.S. national security. You can watch and listen to it here and let us know if you think it’s worth 3 minutes and 33 seconds of your time.
TOE JAM FOOTBALL: We haven’t heard a name yet – but apparently authorities in the Department of Housing and Urban Development think they know who hijacked the video system in the Agency’s cafeteria and played an AI generated video which appeared to show President Trump sucking on Elon Musk’s toes with the caption: “Long Live the Real King.” According to press accounts, an individual was escorted off the HUD grounds earlier this week in connection with the incident. Well, again, far be it from us to have an opinion but that’s a way more colorful way to resign than just failing to send an email. (Note: if you don’t get the title of this item “Toe Jam Football” – ask your parents or grandparents – the term was a line from a 1969 Beatles song – and no one knew what the lyric meant back then either. )
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING IN BETTER TASTE: The Washington Post’s long-time food critic Tom Sietsema published an in depth review of the cuisine at the CIA’s “Agency Dining Room.” Among the more interesting details is that the dining room seats up to 50 hungry spies, everyone pays cash, there’s no tipping, and the food is reportedly pretty darn good. We’re waiting for a reservation.
IT MUST BE TRUE, I SAW IT ON THE INTERNET: Senator Mike Lee (R-UT) was outraged when he saw and then reposted a video of Ukrainian soldiers torching an effigy of Donald Trump and calling Trump a “bastard.” That burned Lee up so much that he posted on social media that “not another dime” of U.S. aid should go to Ukraine. Turns out, the original person who posted it said that the video was old and likely fake. The Associated Press had previously reported that the video showed signs of digital manipulation and might be part of a Russian effort to spread bogus info via state-run and fake news sites. Well, it’s a good thing that elected officials aren’t falling for Russian disinformation or anything cause how bad would that be for American freedom? After all, if not even they can spot it…
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