A WAR WE ARE DESTINED TO LOSE: Politico says the National Security Council has launched a secret war against secrecy and that they are trying to get a handle on the nation’s unwieldy classification system. “It’s in our nation’s best interest to be as transparent as possible with the American public regarding U.S. government records and activities,” said an administration official speaking on the condition that he or she not be identified. Really. The article says that according to the National Archives and Records Administration, the federal government creates “petabytes” (i.e., millions of gigabytes) of classified information each year. Printed out – one petabyte is reportedly enough to fill 20 million tall filing cabinets (or be enough to fill a million Mar-a-Lagos with classified info stacked floor to gilded ceiling.)
WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR REGULAR PROGRAMMING: Ukrainian hackers managed to get access to a TV channel aimed at Russians currently residing in occupied Crimea. According to Ukrainian Pravda, the hackers inserted an address by President Zelensky into a TV show. "Let each of the Russian officials who seized precious land in Crimea remember that this is not a land where they will have peace," Zelenskyy says in the video. We imagine traffic heading back to Russia got even worse after that public service announcement.
FUN IN THE SUN: In this week’s edition of “Ill-advised photos from Ukraine” – we bring you an item about Russian tourists in Crimea posing with Russian air defense positions behind them. The Ukrainian defense ministry shared one shot of a portly gent (wearing just a speedo) with some gear behind him. Naturally, Kyiv wasted no time in geolocating the devices. (The Ukrainians kindly blurred the face of the bather – which may spare him some embarrassment back in Mother Russia.)
CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN: Speaking of Mother Russia, if you need any indicator that Russian President Vladimir Putin may be planning on a long war in Ukraine, look no further than this: Vlad has revived a Soviet-era “Mother Heroine” award bestowed on Russian women who produced ten children. It is sort of like that old Doritos chip commercial: “Crunch all you want, we’ll make more.” But it is no simple thing to qualify for Moscow’s mega-mamma award. Those who do so, will receive a one-time payment of one million rubles – which sounds pretty good until you look at the exchange rate. That works out to about $16,500 the last we checked. Oh, and in the fine print, the Kremlin wants baby mammas to know that they only get the money after their 10th child turns one year old – and only if the other 9 are still living as well. Should one or more of them pass away – well, it’s time for mom to get busy again.
PRAYING FOR VICTORY: A popular meme connected with the war in Ukraine is “Saint Javelin” depicting a holy woman holding a javelin missile. A California-based stained-glass artist has completed a 26X36 hand cut, vintage glass rendition of this patron saint of pushback, and is planning on raffling or auctioning it off with proceeds going to Ukrainian humanitarian aid.
IT MUST BE AUGUST: Weary assignment editors are cranking out familiar (tired) writing assignments. For example, the website Sandboxx, has a piece this week, called “This is what spy fiction leaves out about the CIA.” This is an oft-trodded angle where the publication finds some cognoscenti who explains what Hollywood gets wrong about the intelligence community, or the military and the like. In the case of Sandboxx, they say movies don’t show Agency officers filling out paperwork, preparing for operations, and working with foreign intelligence agencies. Gee, wonder why?
LET’S HOPE THEY DON’T ADD PAPERWORK TO THE SCRIPT: We hear that Hollywood is working on a remake of the classic Cold War film, “The Hunt for Red October.” This raises a lot of questions…the biggest being: Why? The original one in 1990, was pretty darn good. Rotten Tomatoes gives it an 88% rating. How does the new outfit plan on improving on that? Hopefully, the new version won’t have a surprise ending. Note: we haven’t seen any mainstream media reports on the plot – or even confirming that the Red October remake has been launched. Our original source was a website called GiantFreakinRobot – so that sounds pretty authoritative.
APB FOR ATB: Be on the lookout this fall for the Army’s first deployment of the “ATB” – which we are betting you didn’t know stands for the “Army Tactical Brassiere.” The Washington Post provides the ABCs of the ATB saying that it aims “to offer optimum support, durability and comfort for training and combat.” It is good to know the Army is finally improving the support it offers its female soldiers.
USAFA SUPPORTS USSF: While we’re on the subject of the uniformed services, The Air Force Academy football team will be honoring Space Force this season with specially designed uniforms. Air Force Times says the outfit will have the USSF motto “Semper Supra” (always above), lightning bolts and “a patch on each shoulder representing the new service’s two bases, Buckley and Peterson-Schriever.” Maybe they could include a map on the patches because we are not entirely sure where Peterson-Schriever is. (UPDATE: A Dedicated Dead Drop reader wrote in let us know that Peterson AFB and Schriever AFB are in Colorado Springs, CO. "Actually, Schriever is outside city limits in the greater Colorado Springs Metroplex (ha) - -aka El Paso County — where you occasionally have to dodge random bovines on the roads.")
POCKET LITTER: Dead Droplets and bits and pieces of interesting /weird stuff we discovered:
THIS SPUD’S FOR YOU: The U.S. Naval Institute celebrated “National Potato Day” last week by regaling us with a “disputed story” about the World War II destroyer USS O’Bannon suddenly coming across a surfaced Japanese sub. Reportedly, it was SO close, the destroyers guns couldn’t point down at the submarine. So, according to this sea story, U.S. sailors pelted the submarine with potatoes which the sub mistook for grenades and it quickly submerged, only to be sunk by O’Bannon’s depth charges. Remember the Maine (potatoes)!
LET THE (POTATO) CHIPS FALL WHERE THEY MAY: How about tossing some appealing news tips to us? We have a sinking feeling that you have some good ones that you’ve been holding out. Drop them on the DD crew at: TheDeadDrop@theCipherBrief.com.
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