CIA SCHOOLED IN GRAMMAR: In a sign of our times, a CIA recruiting poster spotted at the Foggy Bottom metro station in Washington appeals for Russian speakers to join the intelligence community. But the advertisement, as first pointed out by Reuter’s David Brunnstrom, has some shaky grammar. Naturally, the Putin-powered propagandists at RT jumped all over it. They report that the poster has a sentence written in Russian that translates as: "Your mastery of foreign languages," which should be followed by a singular verb according to the rules of both Russian and English grammar. However, the second line goes: "are [instead of 'is'] vitally important to our national security." The Dead Drop says if you’re a U.S. citizen, who is a Russian speaker, and your biggest concern about Moscow is how the CIA deploys its verbs – the CIA is probably not the place for you anyway.
THE SECRET TO GETTING PUBLICITY: We have broken the code on how to get media attention to whatever business you are in: identify yourself as a former CIA officer…or “Ex-CIA Agent” as just about every news organization insists on calling them. The juxtaposition of being a former clandestine operative to a current high-profile purveyor of anything seems to be irresistible to news organizations. The latest example comes from VinePair – a digital site claiming to deliver “inspiring content about drinks and the experiences you have with a glass in hand.” They recently reported on an “Ex-CIA Agent” who is “Quietly distilling organic craft spirits in Milwaukee.” Brian Sammons is a former National Geospatial Intelligence Agency analyst who shifted to work for the national clandestine service of CIA post 9-11 for a few years. Then he left the government to go to law school and became a criminal prosecutor only to realize he hated the job. So, he turned to drink. Sammons began brewing beer – only to discover he had celiac disease which meant he couldn’t comfortably sample his own wares. Then he switched to spirits and now makes organic vodka, rum and gin under the brand name “Twisted Path” (which is a reference to Buddhist philosophy and not his career choices.)
THE SECRET TO LOSING YOUR MONEY: Speaking of “CIA Agents” – there are reports out that scammers posing as “CIA Agents” are sending emails to unsuspecting folks telling them that there is an ongoing investigation expected to result in the arrest of more than 2000 people in 27 countries who are “suspected of paedophilia.” (Note the British spelling.) The miscreants tell their marks in the email that their web browsing history and online chat-room discussions make them suspects. But the good news is that if the recipient will simply transfer $10,000 in Bitcoin the problem can go away. Amazingly enough, some people are apparently falling for this. Just wait until those Nigerian princes hear that CIA posers are moving in on their ‘internet scam’ turf.
PLAME GAME FOR SENATE SEAT: The Washington Examiner reported last Friday that former CIA officer Valerie Plame is considering a run for the U.S. Senate from the State of New Mexico. Plame, as you may recall, was a CIA officer whose cover was blown in 2003 when columnist Robert Novak reported (incorrectly as it turned out) that she was responsible for sending her then-husband, former Ambassador Joseph Wilson, to Niger to investigate reports that Saddam Hussein had been procuring yellowcake there. Investigations, trials and all kinds of allegations and counter allegations ensued. Plame claimed that her career was deliberately derailed in retribution for Wilson’s publicizing what he “didn’t find” in Africa. She left government and wrote (or co-wrote) three books, does speaking gigs and had a movie made about her life. In a separate article, The Washington Examiner also reported that Plame and Wilson quietly divorced in 2017.
UNPREPARED POLITICIAN? A declassified FBI document from 1955 sheds interesting light on the practice of some politicians being interviewed by the media on national security and essentially making stuff up. Muckrock.com posts an internal FBI memo that was written after Senator James Eastland appeared on “The Reporters Roundup” program on the Mutual Broadcasting System. During the McCarthy Red-Scare era – Eastland told reporters that the Senate Judiciary Committee was investigating a “Red spy ring” that had not yet been uncovered or disclosed. This caused some concern to the FBI and they reached out to Senate staffers who reported that they had “winced” when they heard the Senator say that, noting that he had gone “into this interview wholly unrehearsed and spoke extemporaneously.” The staffer said the committee was unaware of any such spy ring – but speculated that the senator was confused and may have mistaken some reporters for The New York Times with a spy ring. Fortunately, this was long ago, and politicians no longer appear in the media unrehearsed or speaking without knowing what they are talking about. (Just kidding)
POCKET LITTER: Bits and pieces of interesting /weird stuff we discovered:
GO FIND ME: The satirical website Duffle Blog, where every day is April Fools, had an amusing item this week about members of the “Pentagon Press Corps announcing a $3 million GoFundMe campaign to find, locate, and recover missing senior Department of Defense officials by featuring their photographs on milk cartons.” It has been over 300 days (this is true) since a Pentagon spokesperson has appeared on camera in DOD’s briefing room. Duffle Blog quoted an imaginary Heritage Foundation official, however, praising the Pentagon for unprecedented savings by reducing the number of official briefings, interviews, and media embeds” adding that “Big government has no business being engaged in keeping taxpayers informed of where their money is being spent.”
FROM THE HUMS OF MONTEZUMA: It has long been the practice that Marines on active duty – and Marines who were once on active duty (there is no such thing as an “ex-Marine” we are reliably informed) would silently snap to attention if they were somewhere where the Marine Hymn was played. But no more. According to the Marine Times, a new directive coming out around April 15th will say: “It is now directed that Marines, present and who have served honorably, who are not in formation or part of an actual ceremony, or marching in a parade or review, who when they hear the playing of the Marines Hymn will stand at attention, face the music and sing the words to the Hymn.” Notice the words: “who have served honorably.” Talk about pressure. Even if you might want to skip the singing and hum along if you have a bad voice – you better belt out the lyrics – lest observers think your service was less than honorable.
IF YOU SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING: Got any tips for your friendly neighborhood Dead Drop? Shoot a note to TheDeadDrop@thecipherbrief.com
