WHAT ELSE COULD GO WRONG? Maybe we need to quit reading these myth busting websites – because they are full of stuff we didn’t know we should have been worrying about. For example – snopes.com tells us that it is not true that government officials created COVID-19 in order to distract us from the fact that a doomsday asteroid is about to strike the earth. Ah, comforting. We don’t have to worry about all of us dying – because we are distracted about most of us dying. Turns out there may be an asteroid in our neighborhood – but NASA figures it will miss us by 4 million miles. When it comes to interplanetary objects – that is an appropriate social distancing. Where did the crazy doomsday asteroid distraction idea come from? It may trace back to a guy who goes by the name “Scott W.” who claimed to be a “retired CIA agent” and revealed his insights in the place all former CIA officers go – Facebook.
SPEAKING OF ROCKET SCIENTISTS: Dr. Daniel Reardon, an Australian astrophysicist, was hospitalized recently after getting four magnets stuck up his nose. Don’t you hate it when that happens? Reardon normally focuses on pulsars and gravitational waves – but he was bored while enduring self-isolation – so he decided to invent a device that would remind people not to touch their faces. The Guardian says he was trying to create a necklace that would sound an alarm when the wearer touched his or her face. The story contains a lengthy explanation from Dr. Reardon about what the heck he was thinking when he shoved the devices up his nose as part of the process. No, this is not an April Fools item. We kid you, snot.
CENTRAL ASIAN COUNTRY DEFEATS CORONAVIRUS: Who knew it was that easy? Reporters Without Borders says that media in Turkmenistan have been ordered to no longer use the word: “coronavirus.” This simple solution is apparently the brainchild of the country’s president, Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov (a leader whose name just trips off the tongue.) No word on what the punishment is for someone using the word – we’re guessing violators may have magnets shoved up their noses.
IT GAETZ CRAZIER: Congressman Matt Gaetz (R, FL) has been known to do some unexpected things – like leading a group of Members of Congress to storm a House SCIF during a closed meeting prior to the impeachment drama, or wearing a gas mask on the floor of the House as a joke shortly before he learned he needed to go into self-quarantine after being exposed to coronavirus. But this week, he surprised even more folks by tweeting a shot across a fellow Republican’s bow when he asked: “How can @senatemajldr justify leaving someone as the Chairman of the Intelligence Committee who is being investigated by the FBI for criminally abusing their position for personal, financial gain?!?! #wheresmitch. Republicans need to do a better job cleaning our own house.” Gaetz was reacting to news that the Department of Justice has opened a probe into stock transactions by Senators who traded stocks just after the Hill got briefed on the pandemic. Senator Richard Burr, the Chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee asked the Senate Ethics Committee to look into his own actions – and they have agreed. But what was behind Gaetz’s ethical angst? Perhaps he is carrying water for someone who would like to succeed Burr at the SSCI? Chairmanships on the Intelligence Committees are not handed out strictly by seniority. Could SSCI member Senators Tom Cotton or Marco Rubio be eyeing the top slot if there is a vacancy and could they be getting help from Gaetz?
FIND YOUR OWN WAY HOME: Popular Science tells us that China is about to complete its own global positioning system. Called BeiDou, the system will allow China to say bye-bye to American GPS, Russia’s GLONASS, and Europe’s Galileo. The whole notion of everyone having their own GPS-type system seems troublesome to us.
ZOOM, THERE GOES THAT GOOD IDEA: Last week, The Dead Drop asked if it would be possible for the Senate to hold long-delayed confirmation hearings via Zoom meeting. This week, the FBI warned users that Zoom and other online meeting mechanisms are highly hackable. “The FBI has received multiple reports of conferences being disrupted by pornographic and/or hate images and threatening language,” said a warning from the agency’s Boston division.
ZOOM, THERE GOES A BAD IDEA: A lot of folks are looking forward to the sequel to the movie Top Gun that is supposed to hit the theaters in June. (That is assuming theaters are open in June.) Advance publicity for Top Gun: Maverick is already at full throttle. Military Times says producer Jerry Bruckheimer claims that Tom Cruise wanted to actually fly an F-18 Super Hornet himself for the filming. After all, Tom owns a WWII-era P-51 Mustang so how hard could it be? The filmmakers decided to skip the usual CGI computer generated scenes and film actual actors in the aircraft doing aerial maneuvers. The U.S. Navy decided, however, that they felt a need – a need to have an actual naval aviator in control.
POCKET LITTER: Bits and pieces of interesting /weird stuff we discovered:
EPIC EPSTEIN STORIES: There is a new book out, titled Relentless Pursuit, with stories about the wild life and death of Jeffrey Epstein. The Daily Beast says the book is littered with names like Britain’s Prince Andrew, magician David Copperfield, and pop star Michael Jackson. But what caught our eye was the claim that Epstein had a Russian mixed martial arts fighter who served as his bodyguard. During the period that Epstein was incarcerated in the Palm Beach County hoosegow and thus not needing protection, he allegedly dispatched his Russian security aid to CIA headquarters to take some kind of course. The Russian later claimed he was “the only private citizen in a class of 45 people with top secret clearance.” Exactly what the course was about – no one knows. We’re betting it had something to do with doomsday asteroids.
NBA AWAY GAMES: Former Boston Celtics star Paul Pierce has suggested (jokingly we trust) that when the National Basketball Association resumes play after the COVID-19 crisis – that all its games be played in Nevada at Area 51. Well, that’s probably a better idea than another one floated on ESPN — that all the games be played on cruise ships.
DON’T MISS OUT — A global surveillance system that maps pandemics, how spies have been blinded by COVID-19, Is China telling the truth about the outbreak in Wuhan? All that was in this week's Inside the SCIF, by WTOP's JJ Green. You might want to sign up for it, so you don't miss next week's edition. Sign up for Inside the SCIF.
IF YOU SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING: Got any viral rumors that would look good in The Dead Drop? Shoot us a note at TheDeadDrop@theCipherBrief.com.
Read more expert-driven insights, perspectives and analysis in The Cipher Brief