AND THEY SAID IT WOULDN’T LAST: OK, no one actually said that, but this is the 350th edition of The Dead Drop, clear evidence that classic wit is still alive and well in the national security world. Congratulations to the DD writers who have spent endless hours finding ways to make us chuckle.
LITERALLY STUPID: You can’t make this stuff up. But that doesn’t stop the Russians from trying. First the Russian army proved it is monumentally inept. Then the Russian Navy saw it Black Sea fleet flagship turned into an underwater tourist attraction – but that wasn’t enough. Putin’s intelligence service said, “Hold my vodka,” and demonstrated that they can screw things up with the best of them. Russia Media Monitor extraordinaire Julia Davis, writing in The Daily Beast provides this amazing illustration. On April 25, Putin announced the arrest of several “western assassins” who he said were planning on killing a well-known Russian journalist. (And we all know how opposed Putin is to extrajudicial executions.) In making the announcement, he said, “We know the names of the sponsors from Western intelligence agencies, first of all—of course—from the United States’ CIA, which are working with Ukraine’s security services.” The Russian intelligence service, the FSB, released a video purporting to show the arrest of operatives and released “behind the scenes” video of the takedown – a search of the suspects’ apartment. The material (or props) found reportedly included, “a photograph of Adolf Hitler, six pristine-looking Ukrainian passports, a blonde wig, and brand new T-shirts emblazoned with swastikas that appeared to bear fresh creases from recent shipping.” But that’s not the craziest part. Also shown were three copies of the Sims video game. Some folks speculate that the FSB mis-read their instructions and instead of planting “sim cards” they got the games instead. Also included was a book inscribed with the phrase, “Kill to live and live to kill” signed “Signature unclear.” The guess is that someone ordered the CSI-Kremlin team to fake a fuzzy name at the bottom, but they took their instructions too literally.
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