Dead Drop: May 31

NO PBR ALLOWED WITH ICBMS: Two U.S. Air Force airmen were punished recently for pounding Pabst Blue Ribbon beers at a missile alert facility at F.E. Warren AFB.  The base controls 150 nuclear Minuteman III ICBMs. Task & Purpose quotes Joseph Coslett, an Air Force spokesman, as saying: “An investigation, including admission by the airmen, revealed the two consumed the alcohol while in an off-duty status and were not in contact, nor had any access to weapons or classified material.” The Air Force is apparently miffed about internet memes which have declared Pabst Blue Ribbon as the “Official” Beer of the F.E. Warren nuclear code change. Coslett noted:  “By Air Force Instruction we do not endorse, selectively benefit, or favor any private individual, special interest group, business, commercial venture, or organization. F.E. Warren AFB does not have official products for any mission or event.” So, just for the record – there IS not official beer for the nuclear code changes.  Got it?

NOT THE ONION: At first (and even at second look) we thought an item in Army Times was a spoof from The Onion or another satirical website like Duffel Blog.  But apparently this next item is true.  Army regulations permit some soldiers to grow beards if they are required to do so by their religious traditions.  But earlier this year, the Army turned down a chin whiskers request from Specialist John Hoskins, a soldier who wanted to grow facial hair as a result of his devotion to “the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster” – a faith also known as “Pastafarianism.”  Lieutenant General Thomas Seamands gave a thumbs down to the request because he believed it was not made from a sincerely held religious belief. The Army got off easy.  Pastafarianism reportedly does not require the growth of facial hair – but does mandate adherents wear spaghetti strainers for headwear.