YOU SUNK MY BATTLESHIP – If you are among those who spent the holidays dreaming of big beautiful battleships on the near horizon like the one President Trump announced earlier this week, then we want to caution that reading this in-depth analysis from the Center for Strategic & International Studies might burst your bubble. In a piece titled ”The Golden Fleet’s Battleship Will Never Sail,” Senior Advisor Mark Cancian, argues that the design timeline for a new fleet of battleships would be much longer than suggested by the president and the cost will be prohibitively expensive. And then there’s the argument that the ship’s stated mission runs counter to the Navy’s operational strategy focused on distributed operations with assets spread out and networked to maximize firepower. There could also be strong winds ahead if the next administration (or perhaps the one after that) decides to cancel the program before anyone gets to break a bottle of champagne on the bow of the “Trump class” battleship. The author also pours cold water on the notion that the ships fit the traditional description of battleships, or that they would be “the largest (surface combatants) ever built.” The president though declared that the battleship would be “the fastest, the biggest, and by far, 100 times more powerful than any battleship ever built.”
SMILE, YOU’RE ON CBP CAMERA – Shortly after Santa left U.S. airspace…as of December 26, new laws went into effect expanding the U.S. government’s ability to collect facial recognition photos and other biometric information from non-citizens who are either entering or leaving the U.S. Reuters reported on the impending change a couple of months ago – but now that it’s real - more travelers are starting pay attention. The UK tabloid, The Sun, reports that under the new rules, the Department of Homeland Security may request additional biometric information including fingerprints or DNA and may store the photos for up to 75 years. Seems to us, that is a photo is more than 75 years old, your looks have probably changed anyway. The Feds have also eliminated previous age restrictions on photo collection. Previously those under 14 or over 79 years of age were exempt – but now anyone can be required to face the cameras. And for those non-citizen adults who refuse to be fingerprinted on request – they’ll now face a $5,000 fine.
ARMY KILLS SPIRITUAL FITNESS GUIDE AFTER FIVE MONTHS -- The Army’s much-touted Spiritual Fitness Guide has been nixed after less than five months. As reported by Task and Purpose, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth announced the guide’s demise in a social-media video, saying that the Chaplain Corps has been sidelined into glorified therapy duty. Hegseth called the guide a feelings journal in camouflage, noting that it mentions God once but “feelings” 11 times. It even worked in nine shout-outs to “playfulness,” a concept clearly not resonating with senior leadership. Back in August, the Chaplain Corps described the guide as a belief-neutral document focused on helping soldiers weather adversity with purpose and mindfulness. It was deployed in August as part of the Army’s Holistic Health and Fitness push. Guess it’s time to get back to push-ups.
TILTING AT WINDMILLS: The Department of the Interior has thrown a monkey-wrench into five offshore wind projects citing “national security” concerns. President Trump has long been known for disliking such clean energy projects claiming they kill birds and drive whales crazy. According to Reuters, Secretary of the Interior Doug Burgum announced a freeze on the five projects, saying "The prime duty of the United States government is to protect the American people.” His department suggested that offshore wind projects can somehow interfere with radar. Among the developments impacted was an effort called “Revolution Wind” offshore Rhode Island and Connecticut – so see, there IS a national security implication if the wind farms are trying to start a revolution. At least, that’s one way to spin it.
AVAST YE HEARTIES - If you’ve ever wanted to be a pirate, this might be your moment. Apparently inspired by President Trump’s seizure of a shadow fleet oil tankers loaded with sanctioned Venezuelan crude, Sen. Mike Lee, (R-Utah), has reintroduced his Cartel Marque and Reprisal Reauthorization Act, which encourages President Trump to give American civilians “letters of marque” authorizing them to become “privateers” and ”seize cartel property and persons on land or sea.” “Would you like to seize cartel assets as a privateer?” Lee posited on X. “...Time to take these pirates down.” According to the Congressional Research Service, letters of marque were once “common tools for countries with small naval forces to augment their militaries by drawing upon the strength of their private merchant vessels. The U.S. used the instruments with success in the Revolutionary War and in the War of 1812, apparently. Maybe that’s why Lee’s idea won fast endorsement from tech titan and X owner Elon Musk, who posted “This would work incredibly well, as it has throughout history.” Other tech bros, boat bros and just plain bros have joined in. But there are also a few Karens posting prim warnings about how the cartels will kill you and your whole family if you try to grab their dope.
THE GAMES EX-DICTATORS PLAY: Bashar al-Assad reportedly is bearing up well under the strain of having been deposed as the dictator of Syria - having reportedly settled into a luxury apartment in Moscow. According to the Daily Mail, the former Syrian president is spending his days focused on PlayStation and eyeing ophthalmology textbooks while generally maintaining a low profile. Bashar’s bolt hole is said to be three luxury apartments in a “plush 1000ft tower” in the Moscow City district with a shopping mall just downstairs. According to the article, al-Assad and his family own “around 20 apartments worth more than £30million” in the complex. There are reports that Assad may have fallen out of favor with Putin though, so if true, he might want to make sure the apartment windows don’t open. For now, he reportedly lives with his wife and three 20-something children. If the pictures are to be trusted, Assad’s asylum looks quite nice. Someone in the Trump administration should send the article to Nicolás Maduro.
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